Turns Out, Not Everyone Likes Turtles

They should, but everyone is special in their own way.

Remember this kid? The “I like turtles” kid? (If not catch up).

That kid lives rent free in my head. I’m not entirely sure how that little guy managed to get himself so deeply embedded in my cranium, but he did.

Every once in a while I’ll just be walking along, or driving down the road, or staring off into the middle distance, and the words will just rise up from the cesspool of my subconscious:

“I like turtles.”

Nothing beats a simple catch-phrase I guess.

Well one evening I was sitting at dinner with my two boys. This was several years ago—they would have been about 4 and 6 at the time.

As I chewed my broccoli, “I like turtles” made another appearance in my head. I didn’t say it out loud. For just a second I held it there, suspended like a dumb cloud.

I decided to try something, just to see. I readied my Excited TV Personality Who’s Introducing Something Fun voice, and I blurted out:

“Who likes turtles!?”

Well. I presented this easy, obvious question and there was a pause. Just a beat. And then my children answered in perfect unison:

“Not me!”

HA! WHAT? I was utterly astounded. Who doesn’t like turtles? What CHILD doesn’t like turtles?

I protested. “You have to like turtles. Everyone likes turtles.”

But they stood their ground. They were totally committed to their anti-turtle stance.

I learned something that day. I learned that I might be a failure as a parent, because the only turtle-loving child I have is the now ancient meme kid that lives in my head.