the REAL causes of “climate change” (it’s not us)

Hi Danny it's Dad please read this email

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Hi Danny - saw this on my facebook page and wanted to pass it on. I know you’re not on there so I did a screenshot. This guy knows his stuff

People just won’t shut up about this “climate crisis” that is going to “make our planet uninhabitable”. Well, I decided it’s time to set the record straight—so I did MY OWN RESEARCH. Here’s 7 completely true things that are causing our climate to change (if it is changing, which it’s not): 1. First of all, fewer people are praying for rain so there’s less rain. That’s just science. 2. Second of all, gay people (of course). Gay people are having so much gay sex nowadays that the sex heat from their steamy hot gay sex is making the world hot. Just watch that Lil Nas X video if you don’t believe me. Maybe watch it again, just to be sure. See? So hot. 3. Now, have you ever tried Indian food? How about Thai food? How about Mexican food? You know what they all have in common? HEAT. Just think about how many Indians and Thais(?) and Mexicans there are. I don’t know about globally, but there are way more spice people here in the good ol’ US of A then there used to be and that means there’s more hot food and that means there’s more heat. This is basic logical reasoning but for some STRAAAANGE reason you won’t read about it in any mainstream publications. 4. The biblical-sized-flood of super hot very sexy (and addictive!) porn is what’s really destroying the Earth because porn servers release more heat than servers hosting good Christian content. I have it on good authority from the IT guy at our Mega Church. He actually did a comparison by filling up one huge server full of pornos and one huge server full of inspiring, Christ-like content and then used a thermometer to see how much heat they created. He said the porn one was way more! In fact, it was so hot that it damaged the circuitry and he had to go repair it at home. 5. Globalist Demoncrats have been secretly burning tons of coal to power underground vote factories. Otherwise known as “volcanos” these factories churn out 1000x the amount of greenhouse gas that the rest of us humble everyday Americans churn out when we drive our tastefully lifted trucks to the grocery store. (This is also why they want communism because they need more laborers to live and work deep inside their Vote Volcanos.) 6. You might not believe this one but it’s true (I asked my uncle, who has top-secret clearances): We’re secretly at war with an alien species who has targeted the Earth with an interstellar heat ray that is slowly cooking us. That’s why President Trump created the Space Force, to defend our precious Mother Earth from those evil, probably communistical alien beings who do not know the true God and hate us for our freedom. 7. I actually couldn’t find a 7th reason for “climate change” and that’s probably because the whole thing is a hoax. My dentist actually told me that when he was a kid it was hot all the time—year round!—and now it’s actually cooler. And he’s a Congressman for Arizona now, so it must be true what he said because you can’t be elected as a United States Congressman if you’re an insane crazy person. It’s against the law! So that’s it. Climate Change isn’t real but also if it is it’s not our fault.


Please think that one over, ok? Looking forward to visiting you at Berkley.

Love,
Dad

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