How to Build an Audience (Using Materials You Already Have at Home)
If you have tape and glue, you can be a successful creator!
As a Creator creating in today’s precarious, absurd economy you know you need an audience to survive. Without an audience made up of wealthy, generous patrons, you will starve to death on the street while your Boomer parents send you emails asking why you aren’t a doctor.
No one wants that!
That’s why I prepared this helpful guide which will show you the exact steps you need to take to build an audience from scratch, today, using only materials that you probably already have at home (assuming you have a home).
Audience Building Supplies
A sense of whimsy and imagination
A desperate drive to succeed at all costs
Audience Building Ideas
One of the easiest audience building methods is The Cutout. Create cutouts of people using your rusty old scissors and any scrap paper you have laying around. Just cut out the shape of a person and you’re done! To make it even easier, skip things like hands, feet, and other detailed anatomical features.
If you’d like a diverse audience, trying cutting people out of cardboard, poster board, newspaper, those annoying mailers, credit card statements, unpaid mortgage bills, Amazon packaging, that giant pile of napkins you saved from food deliveries, or your partner’s vintage Playboys.
If you have a long piece of paper you can fold it up and cut it to make a snowflake-style chain of cutout people holding hands. It’s kinda like having your whole family follow your sly, secondary Facebook page.
Another audience option: Pillow People. Pillow People make a great audience if you are depressed or writing a memoir. Use a body pillow for the body, throw pillows for arms and legs, and a comfy down pillow for the head. Tape, glue, or sew them all together in the general shape of a person and you’re set.
Audience still not big enough? Time to get desperate! Get your hot glue gun and scour your drawers for popsicle sticks. It’s easy to make a small army of stick people by gluing popsicle sticks together and drawing happy smiley faces on them so you can tell they appreciate your content.
Bonus Audience Building Tip: Anything can be a “person” if you put googly eyes on it. ANY THING.
Clothes pins offer another great way to fill out your audience. The side you pinch together to open them totally looks like legs if you stand them up on end, then all you have to do is glue a fuzz ball or any other small round object to the top to make a mindless content consumer—exactly like a real Twitter follower!
Ok, that’s all the audience building ideas I have time to think up right now. I’ve gotta get back to building my own audience! (I’m using lumber I scavenged from behind the Home Depot because I want my audience to last.)
Good luck out there, Creator!
this post changed my life. ty
🤣 This is hysterical. And the most realistic advice I have heard on audience building.